My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
