Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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