you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are we still banned from the library?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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