didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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