Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
