is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
