I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
