you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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