I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
