Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
