doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
