I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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