You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
