he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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