just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
