When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she smelled like a LAN party
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
