it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
