"it" just moved
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
