is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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