How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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