she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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