We're like a lot better than the average bears
I accidentally had phone sex last night
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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