I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
