we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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