Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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