Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
