Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
