There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
being pregnant is like rehab
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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