just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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