i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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