So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
