Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
