I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
