We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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