You work out of a Hotel?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
