my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im holly from the hills drunk
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
