FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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