garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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