why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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