On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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