just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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