The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
