Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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