After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
