Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Randomize