And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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