Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
