Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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