I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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