well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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