that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize