ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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