there was a trapeze. enough said
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
