I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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