what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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