Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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