I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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