My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
