Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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