Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
