sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
