The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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